My name is Devin and I believed in God when I was in elementary. While growing up there are many family issues and personal struggles in my life.
While I was growing up, my parents would get into arguments, sometimes I would already be asleep and wake up to their yelling at each other. I would question or think why did I have to born in this family? I often compare myself with others
In the past My mother didn’t get along with relatives on my father’s side. She and my sister doesn’t get along to this day. When my grandparents on my father’s side came to Canada and lived with us. I don’t recall arguments, but I do know that my mother forced my grandparents to move somewhere else. When my grandmother was ill and when she passed away, my mother did not go visit or even go to her funeral. She always complained about relatives on my father’s side.
When I was in my grade 12 year, the year I got baptized. My mother threatened me if I get baptized, she would kick me out the house. I didn’t share it to others that day, but my sister mentioned. I was crying when mentioned, and they prayed for me. However, I still went through with the baptism. When I got home, she found out, and screamed at me. Fortunately nothing else happened afterwards and I continue to go to meeting.
Recently I had a trip planned last December with others in the church, in which I paid for my ticket and got my things ready. However in the end my mother stopped me from going. A brother and sister even came over to my house to talk to my mother. She yelled at them, but they continued to talk with her. During that time brothers and sisters showed care and support through call and prayer. I was 30, but yet I let my mother control me. Others did not judge me, but it still felt embarrassing. I am a person that tend to worry about how people see me.
Despite all these struggles and challenges, without knowing God I do not know where I would be. Many times I would pray and talk to God, many times just complaining about situations. I struggled to preach gospel to my mother, because it difficult to forget the shadow. But still I pray for my mother to believe in God and try to overcome because in the bible it tells us that we need to forget what lies behind and just go forward.
“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:13-14 ESV