Looks like I am blogging again to get my thoughts and feelings out. During break-bread I felt the holy spirit tell me that I should respond to God and voice out and some bro/sis prayers did seem to reflect that. I haven’t voiced out for many years, I broke through voicing out before, but for some reasons I’ve stopped. I’ve also stopped sharing in meetings. I do sometimes wanted to voice out, but I do not find the courage to and strength. I don’t recall the last time I’ve voiced out. I know God miss hearing my prayers. Now I realize that even when I wanted to voice out, I relied on my own strength, not by Holy Spirit.
I’ve actually started to do the prayers more stably lately. The prayers are helpful especially part 3, because I do have my fleshly desires. Honestly it is my fleshly desires that made me want to do the prayers more, so I do not have the feelings as much. When I do the prayers I do try my best to do all the parts. So I prayer for breakthroughs for our spirit, body and ministry. But the holy spirit said you pray may you help me and all brothers and sisters to have glorious breakthroughs. But you actually don’t do it.
I want to overcome my difficulties again so I need to rely on Him. You may notice that I don’t like to ask for help, I do everything myself even if it is difficult. Told me I need to ask for help from bro/sis also.
My flesh has really affected me a lot for the past few months, on some days my thoughts and feelings are flooding my mind. I know that I should focus on my spirit then satisfying my flesh, but by my own strength I cannot do it.