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June 29 2019 on bus to work.

After joining team for 30 mins and on bus after taking short nap

Your always waiting for me
Many times I stumble
I have been far away from you
But your love is always the same
Never changing
Through all the seasons, through all my life
Your love to me is the same
Through the years I have seen people come and go
But you have kept me
When I was in my saddest point, you uplift me
Without you, I do not know how I would handle
Lord I am glad that you brought my back from darkness
I was lost, but you found me
I was weak, but you strengthen me
Lord you are my all, my everything
In you I can be satisfied

He sought me brought me back to himself

I treasure that I can know Him in this generation. Through my life journey, I know that God has a plan for me. Though I may face turmoils, difficulties and trials, but with Him I can move on. When I first came to 701 in Chinatown, I was very young, around kindergarten, I came because my sister came. I believe I did enjoy the time there. I did watch those slides there before, whether I was preached to, I do not remember.

When I moved from Chinatown, we didn’t keep touch, but eventually met some brother and sister passing out flyers in chinatown about the classes at 123. So we went there.

Though I went to classes and day camps, but I did not believe in around after grade 5 or so. In around high school, I was invited to come to Sundays more, because I didn’t join, which led me to come every Sunday. Eventually I started coming to more meetings. However, when I joined the meeting, I didn’t know how to involve myself. I didn’t sign, pray, etc.

In 2006, I got baptized, as I shared in a previous post, it was hard.

Then in 2008, I finally started to be able to sing in meetings and voice out a bit. In 2010 I went on a trip to Calgary with brothers and sisters. Unfortunately in 2015/2016 my spirit fell.

I am glad that I still continued to come to meetings. I do not know how brothers and sisters felt when my spirit fell. I still felt the same care and support. During this point, I didn’t seemed to care about drawing near to Him, I didn’t sing to him. I didn’t involve in meeting, including small grouping time.

In 2018 was when I started having some feelings, at first it was much. Eventually I shared to some brothers; I’ve started to feel it much more. Starting earlier this year I’ve started to pray the prayers especially part 3 and included this certain feeling to overcome it. Doing the prayers became stable for me now.

In April, I felt the needs of my Spirit, then I’ve decided that I cannot let my spirit be in the state it was in. So now I am trying to focus on my spirit; help me to once again be involved in the meetings and draw close to Him daily.

Moving forward

“forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead” Looked back at when my spirit fell. Pretty much after 2015, I actually thought it was much longer.

God knew exactly how to bring my spirit back alive. What matters now is my goals and decisions moving forward.

The last time my spirit fell off was partly because I was sick for awhile and didn’t voice out and share. Then late 2016, I started to work, and mostly night shift, so that affected me.

As I am starting work on Friday again, some are worried that my spirit will be affected again.

However this time, I feel that I will be fine, and I know God wants to use me greatly to bless my co-workers. Before the winter semester ended, some of my filipino co-workers talk to me about church and God, and a mandarin co-worker tried talking mandarin to me about bible, except I can’t really understand. Which is one of the reasons of me wanting to improve my cantonese/mandarin.

Charity Event

Hi everyone, I am doing this year’s obstacle course hosted by Light and Love Home. Funds raised will go support Light and Love Home’s global projects overseas . Learn more at

As an note I will be joining the trip to the Philippines at the end of the year. This will be my first mission trip outside Canada, and actually I haven’t flown since elementary.

You can pledge me at, or join as well at

We are so blessed to live in this part of the word, we have so much. When your young you can ask for it, whether your parents get it for you is another story. It is even easier to get the things you want when you start working. But many people around the world lack even the basic necessities.

Give/receive thanks/praises

I have another thing to improve on: How to handle thanks and praises

I don’t know how to respond. lol

Also should know to thank others and give praise

June 24 Team

Review from yesterday (Monday) morning team:

Because of me your heart was broken
Your heart was shattered
Many times you shown us that your heart was broken
You were forsaken by God
Through our life journey we may break others heart through our decisions and actions
You may feel heart break yourself
When I think of the pain the Lord suffered, but if we are not saved
The Lord will feel more pain of not having us

On the bus I realized that I never really have the feeling of a broken heart.
He reminded me my decision and gosl earlier this year actually saved me from actual heart break. I believe God even told and shown me what I asked/requested because He felt that I was strong enough to handle it.

However, I thought of how the Lord would be heart broken if I wasn’t saved. I felt heavy on my heart because my mom doesn’t believe. And my sister stopped going to church meeting. I do sometimes try to ask my sister to join BBM. But my mom is harder, if you know the story about my baptism.

June 24 lunch gathering

Shared in lunch gathering that I wanted to improve my Chinese, mentioned reason as my co-worker talking to me in Mandarin about the Bible, but I can’t understand.

Other reason is because many times I go to the Monday iPad class and Victoria Drive Hall. I want to be able to support God’s work more.

Got tested on my Mandarin listening. 你叫名字是什麼。 Technically I only learned Mandarin for less than a day lol.

Actually I want to know/learn a lot of stuff. If I had unlimited time: Piano, Guitar, Chinese, Cooking, etc.

June 24

I keep sharing about my struggles, feeling and thoughts. But you don’t need to worry about me. Before God answered my request, I already set my focus on my spirit.

I recalled that beginning of the year I’ve always prayed 3 and included my struggle in it. I basically wanted to overcome it long ago. Then April was my turning point, when I felt the holy spirit work in my heart to push me.

I actually thank God for my current struggle, as He caused me to know that I need to turn back to Him, rely and trust in Him. Then He showed me what I wanted to know.

If He actually answered my request before I realize my spirit’s need, I believe I would be depressed and feel down. I wouldn’t would have to strength to overcome it. I do not know if I would even turn back before Him. I thought of Jonah and the whale, I think to overcome my feeling I would had just ran away and hide from it.

June 23

Got recommended to read “Seven Wonders of the Universe” after helping to cut grass at Marine Drive last night. After going home I’ve read page 1.

Excerpt from “Seven Wonders of the Universe””We live in love with the Lord day and night. In our lives, one thing is very important, that is meditation on the Lord. We must guard our mind, refuse to think bad thoughts and any thoughts that cause us to lose heart. Whenever such thoughts come, we must immediately rely on the Lord and cut them off. At the same time, we need to be filled with the Lord and His word so that we can live in joy, faith and hope.”

Through the team time on Friday and Friday Night worship, felt God try to comfort me. Now in worship and team, I feel more that is God with me. When I voice out in meeting & team, I thought that was louder in the past, but I feel now that actually I feel what I pray out. 
Back to the fleshly desires/want/thoughts: I feel that in meeting I am fine most of the time, but outside of meeting I don’t really know how to overcome. I felt even today our group’s message time helped me too, He is involved in our life, he understand and listen to prayer, God knows me.

I did say I would try to say what the struggle was if asked. I wasn’t able to, but I feel that I should tell my struggle, so I’ll try to… . (I did actually edit the previous posts)

I actually keep a lot inside because I don’t want to affect friendship or other brothers & sisters spirit/mind/emotion. The only reason I want to say some of it out is because I don’t want to be burdened by it. The reason I want to say it because I actually want to thank , because “indirectly” helped my spirit to be revived.

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