Hi everyone, my name is Devin. I grew up in Vancouver and I have been living with my parents and my older sister.
I always thought my family situation wasn’t good, but when compared to other friends’ stories whose parents were involved in gambling, drinking, relationship problems, and/or even violence, thankfully my family have not experienced that. Without knowing God in my life, I would have thought otherwise.
Growing up, I have had quite a normal upbringing; my parents worked hard to support us. I felt that my parents loved and cared for me,
My father tried to make us feel happy by buying toys and using other ways when I was a kid. My mother usually prepares meals. However, for most of my life, our parents were too busy because of work. I only recall going to park sometimes, and to the PNE once a year and sometimes Christmas outing.
When I was in grade 4 after moving and changing schools, usually, it would be just my sister and myself at home. I didn’t mind as there was a TV to watch and then started to go to friends’ houses. During that time, I was already attending classes organized by the church.
Besides being hit by feather duster as punishment, this all looks and sounds so typical. However, I still had feelings of wanting a better family, even asking why I was born in this family.
Why did I feel that way?
While growing up, even until adolescence, my parents would have arguments. Usually, all the arguments are about in-laws because my mother was most likely because of negative experiences; she did not get along with them. She had resentment towards them. When my grandparents and aunt moved in with us in my early childhood, there were also some bickering. Eventually, they moved out, and I believe the reason was because of my mother. My mother, at some point, even took back the rice cooker from them.
Despite my mother having resentment towards them, I do not recall any violence among family members. In my early years of elementary, my grandparents even babysat us. Then my mother would pick us up after work.
However, my sister and mother do not have a good relationship. My sister still resents and despises my mother. Whenever they talk, it’s usually my mother scolding my sister or argument. Sometimes my mother can lose her temper and control and breaks things.
Later in elementary, I believed in God; what attracted me was the love of brothers and sisters. They showed care and support to my family. My sister and dad also believed in God.
DId anything change after believing?
Even after believing, there were still some arguments among my parents. In my early adolescent years, my grandmother was ill and passed away; my parents always had arguments. Because my mother still had resentment, she did not visit my grandmother or attend the funeral at the dismay of my father and family friends. One time, my father even asked me whom I would go with if my parents split apart.
What about now after ?
Today, my parents are still together, and there are barely any arguments now. The arguments are just trivial matters; my mother’s attitude towards in-laws are much better now. She even visited a sick family member on my dad’s side, and recently my aunt drove by, and they were talking.
Had struggle challenge last December
Recently in December, my mother prevented me from going on a trip with church friends. Brothers and sisters in the church prayed and supported me. A brother and sister even came to speak with my mother, even as my mother was yelling at them. Though I was visibly upset, I knew my mother cared for me and worried because I never flew out on my own before.
Experiences like these caused me to experience God’s love more. Few weeks before the trip, I prayed to God that I wanted my mother to know God’s love and believe in Him. Perhaps He used this to show the love of God’s family. God causes all things to work together for us. I do not have any resentment towards my mother for her actions.
I know He leads and guides me. I shall never lead me astray. I may suffer now, but one day all these will pass away. He takes care of all things. In storms and waves, I could strive on.
In face of trial and tribulation, I can rejoice and have peace. When I have faith and rely on Him, I shall not stumble. In all pains and sorrows I can continue on this march of love.